Being a Corpo'rat'e

Life has its own way of making one learn things. The feeling of being in an office excited me from the very first day. When I entered the corporate life it was completely different from what I had imagined. ‘Life is a race, if you do not run fast you will fall’ is the first dialogue that entered my mind. The race started the moment I sat in the cab which was meant to take us to the office. Every person in the vehicle wanted to be dropped first. An argument ensued and it was only when we settled it that we reached office building. Waiting for me at the office was another race – getting a spot in the lift. 8 lifts are never sufficient in the morning hours for the large number of employees pouring into the building. Spending maximum number of hours in a day in the closed building makes one feel like an innocent thief in the jail. After you enter your respective departments the list of races you must undertake is endless.

 Taking up a challenge is different from being in a race. A challenge is judged on its completion but a race can never be completed. When I was a child my parents always told me to top in school examinations, I did. Then they told me boards are the first check points, I did. ‘If you graduate from the top institution you will never have to bother about your future, everything will be automatically in line’ they said. I graduated from India’s no.1 college and got placed in one of the top companies in the world and I thought finally the race is over. But gradually I realized that the actual race had just started. Education is important aspect of our life. But, do your degrees give you the kind happiness you have been craving for since your childhood? From some yes, but for most of them a, resounding No. Few people do not have any option but to work for their living. But why can’t the same living be earned from doing what you like? Is it really important to push somebody in order to grow? These are the questions which are raging in my mind with two months of experience in the corporate world.

 I want to live my life with joy and passion. I do not feel burdened with my responsibilities as I have learnt to cope up with my new adult life. But, the fact is that regardless of whether you come from a top institution or a mediocre one you will still have to run the same rat race irrespective of the post you hold.

Women Diaries (Part 2)

A housewife who has done her graduation from a well reputed college in Mumbai and holds posts like vice president and secretary in various clubs like Maheshwari and Lions Club, had to change her life and give up on her dreams after marriage. Here is her story...

 ‘Though I live a happy life I still regret not being able to complete my studies. Life with my husband and children keeps me busy all day due to which I let go of many things. My dad supported me till my graduation and I wanted to study law after graduation but my parents got me married. After marriage I had to shift from Mumbai to Erode (a small town in Tamil Nadu) with my husband. Initially life was difficult but now when I visit Mumbai I miss Erode because that’s where my heart is.

Gender discrimination and me

I was in a co-educational college in Mumbai, which was a hot topic for my family members. They tried to dissuade my parents from letting me study in an environment where I was exposed to guys who could coerce me into making wrong decisions. It was due to my father and his faith in me that I could finish my graduation. I was married right after my graduation without an option. After marriage I started doing CA with my husband’s support but had to discontinue it as I got pregnant with my first child. I prayed for a girl but was given a male child both the times. I feel bad about it, unlike my husband who is quite happy. As a home maker I am expected to keep the kitchen clean and do the household work. From dawn to dusk I am caught up in household activities which leaves me no time for my clubs. I started a club named ‘Prerna’ – a women’s club but had to abandon it due to time constraints.

Why the schism, I would ask

We live in a male dominated society whereby any activity on our part requires the permission of our husbands. Even though a lot of women are bringing down the barriers in various fields it is still a male dominated society. Children should be brought up to respect women. And women should not feel obligated to sacrifice all the time. They should know their priorities as an individual and know what to sacrifice and what to hold on to. When a husband hits his wife she does not complain because she does not know whom to trust. The basic problem in India is that women do not support each other. Only when they are united can they change the society and its roots. I would like to tell girls to wear anything and everything that suits their body structure. Rapes do not happen because of clothes they happen because of the mindset that derives pleasure out of subjugating women.

According to me all husbands in the country should support their counterparts and encourage them to learn and study after marriage. They should help them achieve the goals that they would have attained had they not been married. Every family should make sure that women are respected and the same is taught to their kids. Sacrificing for love is a great thing but it should not be relegated to the realm of responsibilities that a women has to fulfil, men also need to learn to sacrifice for the relationship. Women should be united and stand for a cause and bring about changes. If a guy hits his wife his mother should be in a position to make him realise his mistake and stand in support for her daughter in law.

Women diaries (Part 1)

This is the story of Ashwini Rajpoot , student of Delhi University. She is an English hons. student who in her words ‘is still trying to figure out how to turn her degree into a lucrative and only moderately boring career’. Her favourite pastime is reading books and is a happy go lucky girl.

 ‘I credit my success and achievements to my parents. They have held my hand and supported me in every phase of my life. They have always been very proud of being blessed with two daughters and make every attempt to help us acknowledge our dreams and to fight and strive for them.

 Gender Discrimination and me

 When I was young I played with my cousin brothers and they were not concerned about what gender I belonged to. Playing cricket and climbing trees with them was accepted, even encouraged. But once we started growing up they started looking at things differently. They started imposing upon me activities that were gender specific and expected me to display qualities that a ‘girl’ is supposed to posses. I could no longer climb the tree and pluck the guava myself. They thought they were taking care of me but in reality they were abstaining me from doing all that I liked. Our relatives made things worse by ‘pitying’ my mother for not bearing a male child.

Why the schism, I would ask.

 What I have grown to realise is that even though the same kind of things are taught to both the genders, the manner in which they are taught is distinct. Girls are brought up to like purses, dresses and encouraged to see beauty as the paramount attribute. On the other hand, boys are forced to enjoy outdoor activities and strive for physical strength and intellect. When the society has conveniently created this rift between the two, they create stereotypes and gender specific boundaries to force people into satisfying them. So, when jokes are cracked about girls being obsessed with fashion and boys not being emotional, it is not about their inherent traits but the acquired from of being, a form imposed upon them by the society.

According to me all the parents in India should be like these parents who supported their kid irrespective of her gender and who feel proud about her success in life. Society should change its perception on teaching things to the younger generations keeping in mind that goals and dreams should not be allowed to be gender specific.

Women Diaries (Introduction)

It’s 2014 and the world around us is growing every single day. Lot of changes, innovation, diversification, ‘a-culturisation’ but these factors have still not been able to respond to the problem that has been plaguing our society for years. Yes! “GIRLS” “WOMEN”.

 Luckily these days girls are allowed to be born, they are even given some basic education and other amenities which had earlier been denied to them. But from what I can perceive, these offerings are not completely devoid of ulterior motives, as education for most parents only serves to increase the girl’s value in the marriage market. Housekeeping is still the most important thing that a girl needs to master. Even if she is a big scientist, she needs to make sure that the house and kitchen are scrubbed clean at the end of each day. The tradition of considering a girl impure at the time of menstruation is still a norm in most Indian families. If a girl is raped the first question people ask is about the kind of clothes she was wearing. Girls are supposed to be silent, submissive and not attract guys in any possible way. They are supposed to be patient after marriage and not complain about their husband’s behaviour. He is the ultimate god who can punish her whenever he thinks she is wrong. They should carry and nurture his baby and teach him good manners. If they fail they are blamed for it at a later stage. Even the pain they endure does not earn them an iota of respect.

 Admittedly, there are two sides to every coin, just like there are to this issue of gender. A lot of people have changed their perception about female gender. They are being supported and encouraged to succeed in various fields. We see women from different social, racial and religious backgrounds coming to the fore and taking up positions of responsibility. Some of them have succeeded but a few stones are still waiting to be carved into glorious statues.

 As we fight this constant battle with the dichotomy of the society’s responses towards us, I have taken the initiative to bring these real life battles to light in my column “Women Diaries”. I will try to bring out stories of both good and bad experiences lived by women and will try to give a voice to their stories.

Zenith is the limit

If learning an art form is a beautiful journey, then nothing beats learning it from the very exponent of the art. Many people try to discover their talents from a very young age but unless and until somebody gives them a push, they would never realise it. And that push should be given by an able mentor. Only after you realise your potential, can you find out ways to excel in it. Inspiring mentorship is the stepping stone to one’s success.

It is widely known that dance is a magnificent way to alleviate stress and express oneself beautifully. But this is not all there is to it. You would realise the same on reading my journey with dance.

I began learning Kuchipudi in since I was three and have been performing from the age of five. Through this art form, I gained name and fame and finally became a professional dancer. But, to be frank, I never enjoyed what I did. My Mom wanted me to become a dancer but my Dad always gave primary importance to academics. I managed both and having scored exceptionally well in my boards, I secured a seat in India’s No.1 college in the Commerce stream (SRCC) and shifted to Delhi from Hyderabad for further education. I happened to meet Raja, Radha and Kaushalya Reddy here. I joined their classes to put my leisure hours to better use and to make my Mom happy again. Once I started with my classes, I understood that everything I had learnt in the past was juvenile when compared to their style of dancing. I started my dancing lessons all over again and turned a new page in my pursuit of excellence in dance as I had discovered my love for the same.

Raja and Radha Reddy , the doyens of this dance form, received official recognition when they were awarded with the Padma Shree and the Padma Bhushan award of the new millennium (individually but simultaneously).  Raja Reddy (guruji), fascinated by dance in his childhood days, was prohibited by his family from practicing the same. Belonging to the Kshatriya community, it was expected of him to patronise art but not pursue it.  Though he was sent off to Hyderabad for his education, the stint was a blessing in disguise as he gained exposure to the movies. So enamoured was he, that the young Raja would copy Vaijyanti Mala’s moves in Naagin to entertain his friends. To realise his dream he went to a teacher who rejected him outright because of his dark colour. After several attempts, he and his wife (Radha) were accepted by Vedantam Prahlada Sharma and he taught them the basics in Kuchipudi. Raja learnt the masculine form and Radha, the feminine form of Kuchipudi. Raja also underwent a course in Russian choreography under the tutelage of Maya Rao which has lent uniqueness to his choreography. When they considered themselves to be ready enough, they approached the Andhra Association requesting for a chance to showcase their talent but were rejected. Kaushalya takes a trip down the memory lanes, ‘’Akka and Baava wanted to give a performance for the Andhra Association saying  even Rs. 50 would be enough, but they were refused because they were unknown artistes and they couldn’t afford it’’. Tamil Sangham gave them their first breakthrough opportunity and since then, there has been no looking back. Their talent caught the notice of Late Mrs. Indira Gandhi.  Kaushalya recalls, ‘’We didn’t have a house in Delhi and Mrs. Gandhi asked the Housing Minister to allot us a house in Pandara Road.’’ International tours and opportunities swept into their kitty. They were invited to perform in Cuba by Fidel Castro and his letter to Indira Gandhi about the magic they created on the stage, led to them getting honoured by the Padma Shree in 1984.

They never yearned for any material gains. All they ever desired for was a stage and a few eyes to watch them perform.  Performing dance was their dream and the courage to pursue their dream earned not just them, but the very art form, immense international recognition.

Raja is married to Radha and her sister Kaushalya, who is a well-known dancer as well. They have two daughters,  Yamini Reddy and Bhavana Reddy who are trained dancers, the latter also pursuing a singing course in Hollywood.

Raja, Radha and Kaushalya Reddy are the most brilliant exponents of Kuchipudi .  They have truly proved that they are the masters of this art. They made me realise the beauty of dance. The inspiration and motivation which I gained from them was unbelievably exceptional. They are more like parents to their students. They do not entertain any compromises on the part on the students, upholding the value of the art form. Along with dancing, I learnt lessons for life. They have, over time, inculcated in me the right attitude and principles to lead life. The right attitude required to carry myself in front of different people, Encouragement, love for dance, confidence, hard work, determination are a few of the many things which have been taught to me by them. Though I have started performing under their production, it is still a long way to go. To keep this art form alive, they dedicated their lives to it and became Gurus to many passionate students. Most of us might get deterred from taking up classical dance as a serious career-choice, thinking it to be elitist and outdated, but honestly, it is being revived as the art form of the masses.

 To achieve anything one should believe in whatever one does. Gurus play an indispensable role in carving out a perfectly chiselled statue from a lump of clay. They realise one’s ability to do things and through appropriate guidance and training turn an amateur into a professional capable of facing the world. Only those who nurture their competitive drive, rise above the stiff competition and excel.

I must be exceedingly fortunate to be pursuing my tryst with dance under the able guidance of Raja, Radha and Kaushalya Reddy.

Being fair does not make me beautiful

We Indians glorify fair skin and despise brown complexion. She is such an intelligent woman when one looks at her achievements. It is interesting to note that some of the negativity comes from people who cannot put an intelligent sounding sentence together. Firstly, To all those who tweeted hate about this stunning beautiful woman, who danced the most sensational dance of her life are not worth the ground this woman walks on. But we Indians also forgot that we are also one among those people who discriminate people on the basis of color.

When Nina davvuluri was given the honour of Miss America, we Indians celebrated her success and went back fighting when others called her dark. But once when we start looking at what we are and how our insight is on what beauty is one would praise Americans for taking such a strong step for ranking a dark woman number one. How many of our actors portrayed the role of darks in a movie? How many women who are dark in color won the beauty pageants in India?

One thing which still haunts me is about the matrimonial websites where we really see such content on color being given importance. If we continue to be judgemental obviously we cannot expect others to be normal but however we  accept things as we wish them to. Starting from school level I have been a witness of discrimination. Even a kid in India has a problem making friends with a darker person. Is this how the system made us?

Even darker people are filled with promise and love, one shining example is Nina Davvuluri. Its high time that people stop being a disgrace to the human race by discriminating people on the basis of color. We should always encourage and not hate people who never harmed us.

Eyes for Little things

Did you ever wonder how the person issuing you a token at the metro station, looks like? Or the cobbler who polishes your shoe occasionally? I am sure most of us, while travelling in a rickshaw everyday to college, fail to even look at the face of the guy who is pulling us. Modernisation and Globalisation have failed in increasing the value of the low class people in society, without whom our lives would have been insane. Their income levels might have changed but the perceived value of their work to fellow human beings, is yet to be recognised.

I came across a guy from my class who has a thing for observing everything around him- from the number of tiles in a marble to noticing people where ever he goes. This not only keeps him busy but this also helps him to build his knowledge about many aspects of life, which others fail to grab.

I also know a girl who is so much into her thoughts that she never notices the person standing next to her. Getting deeper into one’s own thoughts is not wrong but what we fail to understand is  recognising a few simple things which might give us a sense of knowledge and belonging to the place we frequent.

Noticing others helps you to not focus too much on one’s own self. This, strangely, builds confidence. Noticing things will always help you, some way or the other. It is always a plus point even though it might not give you instant results. Smiling and thanking people for their small labour provided to us, gives them a sense of encouragement and lights up their day.