Women Diaries (Part 2)

A housewife who has done her graduation from a well reputed college in Mumbai and holds posts like vice president and secretary in various clubs like Maheshwari and Lions Club, had to change her life and give up on her dreams after marriage. Here is her story...

 ‘Though I live a happy life I still regret not being able to complete my studies. Life with my husband and children keeps me busy all day due to which I let go of many things. My dad supported me till my graduation and I wanted to study law after graduation but my parents got me married. After marriage I had to shift from Mumbai to Erode (a small town in Tamil Nadu) with my husband. Initially life was difficult but now when I visit Mumbai I miss Erode because that’s where my heart is.

Gender discrimination and me

I was in a co-educational college in Mumbai, which was a hot topic for my family members. They tried to dissuade my parents from letting me study in an environment where I was exposed to guys who could coerce me into making wrong decisions. It was due to my father and his faith in me that I could finish my graduation. I was married right after my graduation without an option. After marriage I started doing CA with my husband’s support but had to discontinue it as I got pregnant with my first child. I prayed for a girl but was given a male child both the times. I feel bad about it, unlike my husband who is quite happy. As a home maker I am expected to keep the kitchen clean and do the household work. From dawn to dusk I am caught up in household activities which leaves me no time for my clubs. I started a club named ‘Prerna’ – a women’s club but had to abandon it due to time constraints.

Why the schism, I would ask

We live in a male dominated society whereby any activity on our part requires the permission of our husbands. Even though a lot of women are bringing down the barriers in various fields it is still a male dominated society. Children should be brought up to respect women. And women should not feel obligated to sacrifice all the time. They should know their priorities as an individual and know what to sacrifice and what to hold on to. When a husband hits his wife she does not complain because she does not know whom to trust. The basic problem in India is that women do not support each other. Only when they are united can they change the society and its roots. I would like to tell girls to wear anything and everything that suits their body structure. Rapes do not happen because of clothes they happen because of the mindset that derives pleasure out of subjugating women.

According to me all husbands in the country should support their counterparts and encourage them to learn and study after marriage. They should help them achieve the goals that they would have attained had they not been married. Every family should make sure that women are respected and the same is taught to their kids. Sacrificing for love is a great thing but it should not be relegated to the realm of responsibilities that a women has to fulfil, men also need to learn to sacrifice for the relationship. Women should be united and stand for a cause and bring about changes. If a guy hits his wife his mother should be in a position to make him realise his mistake and stand in support for her daughter in law.