Reflections of a language learner

“Learning a new language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.”

I was born to a bilingual family, so I really do not remember what it was like for me as a kid to learn English or Telugu.  Learning Hindi was also easy for me; I did not have to put in many efforts – thanks to Bollywood and the life in Delhi. But recently I have taken up French because I wanted to do something out of the box. As a CA student being bound by taxes and law I wanted to do something new and different and narrowed my search down to learning a foreign language i.e. French.

As a CA student my mind always questioned and demanded for logical reasoning in everything I learnt. My mind is conditioned in such a way to provide my client with the best solution for his legal problem. Once I stepped into this new language world my mind tried changing its somewhere constant world to look into other simpler aspects in life. My otherwise questioning mind stopped questioning here because a language has certain rules and they have to be accepted. Some things simply cannot provide logic and this is one of them.

I have become a curious kid in the classroom once again. Each class made the language even more challenging. It reminded me of a child making silly mistakes while learning how to read and write and yet excelling in it after consistent learning and by accepting the challenge in making mistakes.  It also opened up my thought process and made me aware of foreign culture.

The learning was never monotonous. It was never one sided. Each day was different. Sometimes it was a team effort and other times it was only an individual’s effort. As adults we always like to speak only after gaining some knowledge in the language but here the story is different. Anybody can learn a foreign or a new language with the right guidance.

All of us enjoy reading books, listening to music, watching movies. Imagine a new world with new books, new songs and new movies. That’s what language does to you. It gives you wings to explore a new beautiful world.

Hindi is not our National language

Most Indians assume that Hindi is the National Language of India. The truth, though, is not that simple. Hindi is just an official language of the country or the Union and there are regional languages which could be the official languages of various states.

I am a south Indian, my mother tongue being Telugu, I can speak  Hindi and English effortlessly. Few years ago, when I started my journey in Delhi I didn't know a single word in Hindi. A lot of people asked me why I couldn’t converse in our national language i.e Hindi according to them. What people fail to understand is that India is a conglomeration of many linguistic sub-nations and even after 70 years of independence people are still ignorant of the fact that India doesn’t have one national language but has 22 official languages.

People forget to notice the existence of different languages in different states of India which are completely different from each other. The culture of each state is different. The values, principles, beliefs and customs; all differ from state to state and intra-state differences are also found in  numerous cases. When are people going to accept these huge dissimilarities amongst people?

But the fight over supremacy of language in India started before independence and is still continuing. Why should there be one language to be prioritized? And why should that language be Hindi?

In a secular and diverse country like India where many languages are spoken by the people, promoting and making only one language(Hindi) as National Language will not quantify us as following the principle of equality. A lot of statistics claim that more than 50% of Indians talk in Hindi whereas the truth is not even close. How can someone mix Marwari into Hindi and mix it with the Hindi speaking statistics? The former comes from Rajasthani whereas the later is Hindi altogether a diferent one.

Non Hindi States language is safe even when English is being used but, in Hindi imposed states regional languages are on threat.A lot of people from the north India come from various other languages like Punjabi, Haryanvi, Rajasthani etc. but they fail to learn and write in their own language as Hindi is being implemented in their respective states. Making one language superior to others will only end embracing other languages equally.

It is immoral that the onus of national integration should be placed squarely on the shoulders of non-Hindi speakers while Hindi speakers get a free-pass throughout India. Imposition is a form a violence.If at all, all the languages mentioned under Schedule VIII of the constitution are equally national languages of India, and no special place can or should be given to Hindi.

We are taught right from childhood to respect each other, but somehow this does not find a manifestation when it comes to respecting the heterogeneity of the Indian society. With respect comes unity, with unity comes strength and a sense of belonging which would help us stand united and lead us on to grow in a holistic manner.

Can there be Rape in Marriage? Marital Rape

Among many current issues happening around us, I have chosen to write about this subject, since we are still showing ignorance about it.

Ruby got married when she was 19. Like every other girl in India, Ruby thought that her husband would be her protector. She was overwhelmed with tears of joy, as she considered her dream fulfilled. But things took a different turn.

On her first night of marriage, instead of receiving care and love, Ruby was forced and assaulted. She was raped seven times on that first night.

Why did the concept of marriage come into existence?

The whole concept of marriage was created just to determine the paternity of children in ancient India. Its essential components were intercourse, procreation, and living together with mutual responsibilities for the care of offspring. The institution of marriage gave respectability to women and enhanced their personal happiness.

Slowly, it enjoined on the wife the duty of attendance, obedience to and veneration for the husband, and the obligation to live with him wherever he might choose to reside.

Women had to be careful about what they wore and said, where they went. They had to be diffident and ‘modest.’ In a hundred little ways, men were made to feel intelligent, good, powerful, knowledgeable, right, smart, and attractive by the women in their lives. This whole attitude gave rise to many social evils, and one of them is marital rape.

WHAT IS MARITAL RAPE?

Marital rape is the act of sexual intercourse with one’s spouse without the spouse’s consent. It is a form of domestic violence and sexual abuse.

In India, with its patriarchal mindset, women post-marriage are considered to be the property of men, with no independence over their bodies. Once married, men think that any sort of sex they indulge in with their wives is normal. In such a marriage, a wife’s relationship with her husband is to be subjected to physicality and his bodily pleasures, rather than being touched with the eternal bliss and bloom of the vows the couple took. The very steps of their lives with each other are defeated.

Right from our upbringing, with a high illiteracy rate, poverty, extreme religious beliefs, and the very ‘sanctity’ of marriage, women are taught to respect men in their families and are expected to be more responsible for maintaining the decorum of the family. They are expected to be modest and responsible from childhood. On the other hand, boys are brought up in such a way that either their mothers or sisters are responsible for their daily chores. Right from this stage, domination comes into the minds of boys and girls at a very tender age. Once this is inculcated in their blood, most women do not even know that the option of NO exists, even after marriage—and especially in bed. In some cases, women do not even know that they have the right of an option when it comes to sex, as they are always inclined to satisfy their husbands’ every desire.

This brings us to a question: Is marriage in India a contract for legal sex, among other things, where a man doesn’t need to ask for permission and is free to impose himself on a wife?

For a minute, let us forget about rape that happens outside of marriage. What are we doing to prevent rape after marriage? Are our girls educated about their rights? Oh, sorry, they are in fact educated the opposite. Oh, sorry, are girls even educated?

But can there be two yardsticks to define rape—the rape of an unmarried woman and that of a married woman? Is it acceptable to discriminate against a woman just because she is married to the man who raped her?

A lot of social movements have been started and a lot of work is being done to change the existing law to punish rape in India, but marital rape is still not discussed and very little is being done. When rape outside of marriage is difficult to prevent, it seems that many forget about marital rape. ‘We have a lot of wolves in the street but sometimes they live inside our house under sheep's skin.’

There is also a need to educate the masses about this crime, as the real objective of criminalizing marital rape can only be achieved if society acknowledges and challenges the prevailing myth that spousal rape is inconsequential.