Women diaries (Part 1)

This is the story of Ashwini Rajpoot , student of Delhi University. She is an English hons. student who in her words ‘is still trying to figure out how to turn her degree into a lucrative and only moderately boring career’. Her favourite pastime is reading books and is a happy go lucky girl.

 ‘I credit my success and achievements to my parents. They have held my hand and supported me in every phase of my life. They have always been very proud of being blessed with two daughters and make every attempt to help us acknowledge our dreams and to fight and strive for them.

 Gender Discrimination and me

 When I was young I played with my cousin brothers and they were not concerned about what gender I belonged to. Playing cricket and climbing trees with them was accepted, even encouraged. But once we started growing up they started looking at things differently. They started imposing upon me activities that were gender specific and expected me to display qualities that a ‘girl’ is supposed to posses. I could no longer climb the tree and pluck the guava myself. They thought they were taking care of me but in reality they were abstaining me from doing all that I liked. Our relatives made things worse by ‘pitying’ my mother for not bearing a male child.

Why the schism, I would ask.

 What I have grown to realise is that even though the same kind of things are taught to both the genders, the manner in which they are taught is distinct. Girls are brought up to like purses, dresses and encouraged to see beauty as the paramount attribute. On the other hand, boys are forced to enjoy outdoor activities and strive for physical strength and intellect. When the society has conveniently created this rift between the two, they create stereotypes and gender specific boundaries to force people into satisfying them. So, when jokes are cracked about girls being obsessed with fashion and boys not being emotional, it is not about their inherent traits but the acquired from of being, a form imposed upon them by the society.

According to me all the parents in India should be like these parents who supported their kid irrespective of her gender and who feel proud about her success in life. Society should change its perception on teaching things to the younger generations keeping in mind that goals and dreams should not be allowed to be gender specific.

Women Diaries (Introduction)

It’s 2014 and the world around us is growing every single day. Lot of changes, innovation, diversification, ‘a-culturisation’ but these factors have still not been able to respond to the problem that has been plaguing our society for years. Yes! “GIRLS” “WOMEN”.

 Luckily these days girls are allowed to be born, they are even given some basic education and other amenities which had earlier been denied to them. But from what I can perceive, these offerings are not completely devoid of ulterior motives, as education for most parents only serves to increase the girl’s value in the marriage market. Housekeeping is still the most important thing that a girl needs to master. Even if she is a big scientist, she needs to make sure that the house and kitchen are scrubbed clean at the end of each day. The tradition of considering a girl impure at the time of menstruation is still a norm in most Indian families. If a girl is raped the first question people ask is about the kind of clothes she was wearing. Girls are supposed to be silent, submissive and not attract guys in any possible way. They are supposed to be patient after marriage and not complain about their husband’s behaviour. He is the ultimate god who can punish her whenever he thinks she is wrong. They should carry and nurture his baby and teach him good manners. If they fail they are blamed for it at a later stage. Even the pain they endure does not earn them an iota of respect.

 Admittedly, there are two sides to every coin, just like there are to this issue of gender. A lot of people have changed their perception about female gender. They are being supported and encouraged to succeed in various fields. We see women from different social, racial and religious backgrounds coming to the fore and taking up positions of responsibility. Some of them have succeeded but a few stones are still waiting to be carved into glorious statues.

 As we fight this constant battle with the dichotomy of the society’s responses towards us, I have taken the initiative to bring these real life battles to light in my column “Women Diaries”. I will try to bring out stories of both good and bad experiences lived by women and will try to give a voice to their stories.